Adventures of Des and Cort

Trees Can Hear You, Diddy's In Trouble and We're Tired

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We laughed, we ranted, we asked trees for emotional support. 🌳😭

This week’s episode is brought to you by exhaustion, unhinged headlines, and the absolute audacity of people who park like they’re in a bumper car arena. 🚗💥

We’re coming down from the post-event high (read: crash), which means everything annoys us just a little bit more than usual. Like family members putting things where they do not belong 😤 or sucky parkers who clearly said, “That’ll do,” and walked away with pride.

Then we spiral into:

  • The Diddy drama (allegedly, allegedly, ALLEGEDLY) and how 50 Cent is turning court cases into comedy content 📉😂
  • The Sperm Race in LA, because science said “let’s make fertility a track meet” 🏃‍♂️🍆
  • Whether TREES can actually hear us and if they’re silently judging us (probably) 🌲👀
  • A real-time identity crisis when we’re around smart people and suddenly feel like the biggest dummies in the room 🧠💥
  • How our sleep schedules now mirror those of medieval villagers and we’re... okay with it? 😴🕯️
  • And the Handmaid’s Tale episode that emotionally wrecked us and may have triggered a mild rage blackout.🧕🔥

We also proudly introduce the term “Thunder C*nt™”—because sometimes, being calm and collected is simply not an option. ⚡️💅

So grab a caffeine IV, avoid eye contact with nearby trees, and come laugh with your favorite delusional besties. We’re tired. We’re ranty. But we’re still showing up. Barely.

#treescanhearyou #diddysintrouble #thundercuntenergy #spermrace2025 #handmaidhangover #dumbbutcute #adventuresofdesandcort #podcastchaos #femalepodcasters

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